Now you're asking (or if in the South, axing) yourself "what can this guy possibly have against Michael Phelps? He's untouchable right now - 8 gold medals, great smile, best athlete of maybe ever? How can he really classify him as an enemy to humanity?"
Well I'll tell you why - by being such a great swimmer he's drawing undue attention to dolphins (and other crappy aquatic creatures). Observe:
So Mr. Phelps, while I admire you and must say your 7th Medal Race was one of the most exciting sporting events I've ever seen, I am very very happy that your portion of the olympics has ended. This way your freakish nature underwater will no longer be compared to dolphins, thus shedding further misguided light on their plight.
That was a good rhyme. Maybe I should be a rapper. Rap about dolphins with the same level of disrespect that say NWA rapped about the 5.0/police/fuzz/black and white/boys in blue/LA's finest, etc. Oh maybe a dolphin related poet.
Shipborne motions as the sun crests the horizon
Ready at the grasp, the weighty spear
Dolphin blood flows
Across my hands and onto the deck.
Daylight.
Brett Favre is a tool.
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