Marriage is I Guess Sorta Cool

So my brother (younger) got married this weekend. It wasn't half bad. Who am I kidding? - it was freaking great. He married a human, which is always good for my cause as we need to perpetuate the species to 1. outbreed the dolphin and 2. outbreed the Palin family. I think they're up to 322 children (legitimate and otherwise). And the Spears' family. 9,878 in that clan.

Furthermore, my brother did his honeymoon right - left immediately at the wedding. And he didn't go to Atlantis resort which allows you to swim with captive dolphins. Which is OK because they're captive and therefore most likely depressed but still bad because people are getting exposed to them and getting the wrong idea that they're gentle and kind and sensitive creatures. Actually, besides my violent anti-dolphin platform of hatred, I can sorta be gentle and kind and sensitive. Thus completely without a girlfriend. Because girls respond to dickery, cockery, assholery and fuckheadery. And probably not to to fabricated words ushered into existence by the addition of "-ery".

The Atlantis resort made it look so appealing - frolicking in the tepid, urine saturated water, eating sanitized meals with sanitized families just like you, all the while keeping 100% isolated from the natives other than the "help". And exotic sea creatures at your beck and call to do your bidding, whatever it might be. It's basically the antithesis of Habitat for Humanity.

Wait a second. I hate hippies and Carter-type crap like Habitat for Humanity. By that logic, Atlantis resort is Awesome. I'm booking a trip right now. And I'm bringing a toaster and a 40' extension cord to electromocute some dolphins.