Dolphins are Front-Runners, and Man U Supporters.

I get it - you won the double. You're also the most arrogant group of fags ever. That's right, I'm talking to you, Manchester United supporters. More importantly I'm talking to Manchester United supporters who are not from Manchester. Most importantly, I'm talking to dolphin supporters of Manchester United. I hate it when you see a dolphin Man U follower, wearing a brand new scarf, an 07-08 kit and a faux Ronaldo hairdo, walking down the street with a swagger that just says "I am a world class douche." They have no knowledge of the subtlety of the game and yell the stupid "Glory, Glory Man United... Glory, Glory Man United..." over and over again. They're essentially perpetual frontrunners. I mean, if you even mention Eric Cantona, they'll think he was just an actor in a Cate Blanchett film.

Now let me add one disclaimer - I am an avowed New York Yankees fan, but I hate the Yankees frontrunner dolphin fans maybe more than I hate Red Sox fans. I understand that being the best attracts the best talent (A-Rod, Ronaldo) and the worst kind of fans (Dolphins, Dolphins) who with no knowledge of the nuanced nature of either game merely select that team which they hear the most about.

But since the only way dolphins "hear" of any sporting results is through anyone who accidentally drops a waterproof radio in the ocean, inevitably they will hear of Cristiano Ronaldo being gay, A-Rod being gay and both teams winning fucking everything, all the time. Except when United wins, Jesus is killed again. Because God is an Arsenal supporter. That and the Yankees suck this year.

So ultimately, what am I saying here? The worst pitcher in the history of baseball is a dolphin. It would make sense. Injury prone - check. Banged Alyssa Milano - check. Injury prone - check.

That's right, Carl Pavano is a dolphin. Makes sense, doesn't it?