First things first: One Named People are not to be trusted. Madonna (cough - slut!), Shakira (cough - midget slut!), John Wilkes Booth (cough - great aim!). Second things second: People who name their production company anything other than "Worldwide Pants" are not to be trusted. That puts Oprah squarely in our crosshairs, as if we were a Franz Ferdinand song or for that matter as if we were just actually Franz Ferdinand.
Oprah, with her see-saw weight problems (too much krill, I think) and her megalomania (check under your seats) and unbridled, holier-than-thou magnanimity (again, check under your seats) should be one of the first against the wall should the revolution come. Yes - I get it. You came from nothing. Yes - I get it. You forged a billion dollar media empire. Yes - I get it. You enjoy cake.
Further investigation yields the following results:
Oprah is very close in spelling to "Orca" in that both words contain an "o", "r" and "a". Furthermore, Oprah is 90% blubber. It doesn't take a leap of the imagination to figure this out. Oprah is an evolutionary off-shoot of the killer whale. I mean, they're both black, right? They both eat seals. Both are the darlings of the liberal elite. Both have problems mating in captivity.
So case closed. Oprah is an enemy of humanity because she is a killer whale.
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