Dolphin Masonry - Shoddy at Best

If there's one thing that dolphins truly are miserable at, it's masonry. Firstly, their flippers cannot adequately handle plumb lines so more often than not, you end up with a truly crooked wall. Also not surprisingly, they mix the mortar with way too much water, so your wall isn't going to last all that long, due to erosion and such. With a poor manufacturing infrastructure, the quality control of their brick factories is lacking thus leading to far more substandard inventory than even third world nations like Bhutan or Canada. In general, dolphin contractors are chronically behind schedule on completion dates and are prone to padding the bill, er, beak with overages and hidden costs. My brother is a general contractor and he always has always had problems with his dolphin day laborers. When he picks them up at the Home Depot parking lot at 7:00am more often than not half of them are drunk, reeking of tequila, whiskey and soft shell crab. Needless to say, this leads to problems throughout the work day and he has to watch them very closely, often correcting their work himself. Since he's fluent in Spanish, he has no problem communicating with his Latin American colleagues but as dolphin culture is notoriously insular, they haven't even published a comprehensive dolphin to English dictionary. That and he sounds ridiculous issuing a series of whirrs and buzzes as orders.

So if you're thinking of home renovation or a new project, I'd think twice before hiring dolphin labor to get the job done. Go with the Chinese instead - they're industrious, hard working, they have really small hands to get into hard to reach places and I'm told there's quite a few of them so they're easily replaceable. That and their government doesn't value life all that much. Did you know that there was no stone whatsoever used in the construction of the Great Wall of China? Yeah - true fact (is there anything other than a true fact, by the way?) - Yeah, it's made completely of slave labor corpses. True story.