The level of retardation exhibited by this species is unparalleled in the animal kingdom (phylum, class, order, family, genus, species). This can be summed up in their choice of American Sporting Teams. 94% of dolphins are Red Sox fans. And they just jumped on the band wagon. Despite nearly a century of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" behavior, the lowly (and freaking racist) Red Sox fans are reveling in their new found glory and of course the front runner dolphin is eager to throw their flipper into the melee. In a classic show of stupidity, these maritime terrorists embraced the most callous and boorish breed of baseball supporter by donning their Big Papi jerseys, Lon Lester commemorative "I Had Cancer" hats and Curt Schilling "I swear I was injured" bloody socks. If I hear another fucking dolphin saying "that's just Manny being Manny" or "wicked retahded" or "I am a lower class uneducated Irish American without any salient knowledge of Ireland itself" again, I swear I will drive to Boston and "pahk my cah" (laden with with propane cannisters) in Yawkey Way and subsequently wahk away. Holding a detonator.
Please support the Yankees (and thus America) by purging the world of these Green Monster loving cetaceans. I will use my Jason Giambi autographed mustache bat to pummel the slimy assholes into certain and utter oblivion. Ever play Tee-Ball? Yeah you have - admit it. Pretend the dolphin's dorsal fin is the ball and start there. Then work your way down into the brainal region. Yes - brainal is a scientific term. I know. I'm a Scientologist therefore smarter than you. Except replace "smarter" with "brainwashdeyer".
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